Flame

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Flaming is the gentle art of sending abusive emails, known as flames, to your friends, enemies, or indeed anyone who dares to disagree with your sacred opinions. Flaming can be fun, productive, and is for all the family.

Flame wars are best conducted on mailing lists, news forums, basically anywhere public. Why keep all the fun to yourself?

Hints and tips:

  • Always take offence, especially where none was intended.
  • Never accept an apology for what it is.
  • Ignore facts, unless they happen to be handy.
  • Treat urban myths as unshakable truth, unless they happen to counter your argument.
  • Pepper your rant with bad grammar, spelling mistakes and snide remarks at other onlookers.
  • Treat your opponent as an idiot - you know they are one.
  • Treat your opponent as a devilishly cunning, scheming, scheming paranoid - you know they are one.
  • If you have trouble reconciling those last two tips, then you are a dumber idiot - I know what your thinking, so don't try to hied behind that wall of inosense. You will be ferst against wall when the reverlution comes!

Famous Linux flame wars, which never really stop (but have a way to go before beating the 100 Years War between England and France), include:

  • vi vs. emacs.
  • GNOME vs. KDE.
  • .deb vs. RPM.
  • Linux vs. Windows.
  • Free software vs. open source software.

Legend has it that flaming was invented by the LXF Production Editor, Matt Nailon. Not only is he the master of all flaming, but he just loves to receive flames from readers too. He especially likes flames from people that insist on using stationary to display pretty borders around their vituperations, or badly written HTML that crashes his Mozilla.